Every morning, Shrek wakes up and trudges towards his office. It ain't fun being the CEO of an ogreempire. He's got tons of paperwork to tackle, meetings with demanding investors, and the constant threat of donkey shenanigans.
To top it all off, he's gotta wrestle the monotony. Sometimes he dreams of just staying in his swamp with a good bowl of swamp stew, but duty calls. He groans and throws on his fancy pants. Another day, another sack of ogre rupees.
Swamp Thing Corporate: They Know
Ya'll feel/sense/know it in your bones. The here corporate/biz/establishment swamp/quagmire/sludge is real, and it's thick/churning/sticky. Big/The/Shady money calls the shots/controls everything/runs the show, leaving/screwing over/trampling the rest of us. It's a system/machine/structure rigged against the little guy/ordinary people/you and me.
- We're/They're/You're all just stuck/trapped/chained in this mess/circus/nightmare.
- It's/This is/That's time/past time/high time to fight back/break free/make a change.
- Let's/We can/They should drain the swamp/expose the truth/hold them accountable.
Don't/Ever/Never let them tell you/fool you/brainwash you into believing/thinking/accepting that this is just how things are. We deserve/can have/must fight for a better/fairer/just world.
Swamp Life > The Grind
Listen here, partner. This ain't your daddy's office job . Out here in the wetlands, life moves at a more natural flow. You get your hands dirty, sure, but you also get to breathe fresh air . No deadlines out here. Just the rustling reeds and the gentle lapping of water . It's a true life, ya know? One you can't find in no corporate ladder climb.
Lord Farquaad Is My Boss Send Help
This stinks. Working for him/that little tyrant/the Short King is awful/terrible/a living nightmare. He's always yelling/constantly on my case/demanding impossible things and expects me to be perfect/treat him like royalty/clean his boots. I tried to quit once, and let me tell you, it was a big mistake. Now he's watching me like a hawk/making my life hell/threatening to turn me into an ogre.
I just need to disappear. Maybe a fairy godmother/a dragon/one of those talking donkeys could help me escape/give me some advice/teach me how to fight Farquaad.
{
* I'm certain he's going to fire me/turn me into a frog/make me his jester.
* I can't take it anymore/stand this/deal with this.
* Please, someone, rescue me!
Full Time Ogre, Part Time Meme Lord
He's a real beast, but in the best way possible. This dude lives and breathes the ogre life. When he's not laying waste to villages, you can catch him scrolling through Reddit. This OGRE has mastered the art of being a funny guy.
- His memes are legendary
- Validation from strangers is his lifeblood
- Get on his good side, or else
Gatorfest Guaranteed
Well folks, you better grab your boots and mosquito repellent 'cause this weekend is gonna be a real mess. We're lookin' at intense rain all day in and day out with heat indexes in the scorching 100s. If you're thinkin' about headin' outdoors, best pack some extra protection and a tarp. It might even be good for gettin' that crocodile watchin' in.